Posted by Kevin Lofgren.

It's pretty simple, really. We all want to be loved. We want a sense of belonging. We want to feel like others care about what we think, feel and say. Therefore, what we DON'T want is to feel unimportant, unheard, disrespected and ignored. In any human interaction, we respond best when we feel like the person talking to us either knows us or shows a genuine interest in getting to know us. But if that person makes broad generalizations or assumptions about us that are just plain wrong, our reaction will typically be negative.

Here's a revelation: Customers are, more often than not, humans. Why then, knowing we have this basic need to feel important, do we insist on interacting in a way that alienates most of our audience? Direct mail traditionally earns a depressing 1% response rate. What does this say about the experience of the other 99%?

Make no mistake, the purpose of marketing is to increase revenue, which is derived from a mixture of new, existing or returning customers.

Whether you call your marketing B2B or B2C, you're still smack-dab in the middle of the marketing I call H2H - human to human. Direct marketing, traditionally speaking, has been anything but direct. When we study the typical direct mail piece, there is no personal experience. For example, when I receive a piece of direct mail, I filter through it rather quickly looking for relevance. Typically, the four-color call-outs and copy-filled postcard do nothing to get my attention and I throw most of them out immediately. But let's focus on the pieces that get through my initial filter.

I have a heavy personal interest in photography. If I receive a direct mail piece that has some easily identifiable relevance to photography, they've got a chance. I'll bite. But then comes the list of potential failure points. For example, are they talking to me about equipment I already own? If so, they don't know me, and therefore I'm not interested. But if they are sending me information on an item that compliments something I have, they bought a little bit more of my time.

The key is in those small, initial steps. The immediate goal shouldn't be to get this person to buy your stuff or to convince this person to fill out their information on a card and send it in. Your immediate goal (at each second of the experience) is to earn one more second of that person's time within the experience.

Do you remember how hard it was to get off the phone with your first girlfriend or boyfriend?  Why was that? Lots of reasons, of course, but one of them was because they made you feel good about yourself. They intrigued you, complimented you. They asked you questions to get to know you better because they were sincerely interested in who you were. The reason you stayed on the phone was because the other person made you feel fascinating, intriguing, special. Not because of deception, but because it was genuine! This is why, when you are communicating to your customers and prospects, you too have to truly care about finding out what is most important to them and addressing it specifically. If you aren't sincere, they won't listen, which means they'll never buy.

From my perspective, the parallels between stages within a human relationship and a relationship with your customers are strikingly similar. After all, relationships require give and take; you both must be willing to take what the other will give (lead generation). Once you agree to evolve with one another, you're sure to hit a few bumps along the way - but that's okay. After all, we're only human. We get over it. But if those bumps happen more often, one side of the relationship must work harder to maintain it (customer retention). So you give the other person a reason to stick it out; you might offer gifts or gestures expressing your commitment to the relationship (customer loyalty). And finally, as things evolve, you come to the conclusion that the relationship needs a higher level of commitment; it needs to go to another level (customer up-sell).

So the secret, really, is in knowing your customer. But let's be clear. In the past, that has simply meant understanding how to talk to a particular group of people based on common demographics and variables. And while that is certainly important, it's only the beginning. The ultimate goal is to know every one of your customers on an individual level. When you know what each person needs and cares most about, you will know how to communicate in a way that will maximize results with that individual.

A successful dialog is not necessarily measured by a closed sale. Many salespeople will tell you that getting to a "no" is as important as getting to a "yes." That's because identifying truly qualified prospects is traditionally time-consuming. Most would prefer to know the least qualified prospects, so they can focus their time on the most qualified. And how is this accomplished? By knowing every prospect on a mass level, through H2H marketing. A successful dialog, therefore, is a two-way interaction through which we come to know each other.

Get to know your customers and prospects. Even though they may not "buy," you've shown them that you care simply by taking the time to listen. Once you've created this on-going interaction with your prospects and customers, you'll soon realize that you've also created a community. A community where customers and prospects feel like they belong, they want to interact and exchange ideas because they feel important. And it really is simple, all you need to do is listen. After all, we are only human.

kl